Two feet to my right is a toy Gizmo figure (from the movie Gremlins), standing on top of a model of Speed Racer’s car (the Mach 5), which itself sits next to a giant pile of unopened Star Wars Pez dispensers. On my left is a USB powered lightsaber, a toy Minotaur, a taco-shaped pouch for storing my USB thumb drives, and a boxed copy of Win, Lose, or Draw for the Nintendo Entertainment System. I have a room in my house dedicated to Star Wars toys, a bubble gum vending machine, a working payphone, and once bought a convertible dune buggy (as in, it came with no top and no windows) as my primary mode of transportation one winter. <\/p>\n

For me to declare something as the most<\/i> ridiculous thing I’ve ever purchased really says a lot.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

This story begins with a girl named Christine. I don’t personally know Christine too well, but I know that she lives in Melbourne, Australia and that she listens to some of the same podcasts I listen to. One of the podcasts we both listen to (The Adventure Club Podcast) had Christine on as a guest, and I think it was during that episode that I learned Christine owns a skeleton named Boney T, which I think is just about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Occasionally Christine posts pictures of Boney T on her Twitter feed<\/a> and I laugh every time I see one.<\/p>\n

\nBoney T at Christmas<\/i><\/p>\n

One thing I’ve learned in life is that with access to the internet and a credit card you can pretty much make anything happen. Literally. You can buy movie tickets. You can buy cars. For $20, you can get Lou Ferrigno to call you and wish you happy birthday<\/a>. And, for what it’s worth, you can also find medical supply shops that will send you a skeleton. <\/p>\n

Because I thought it would be interesting, I checked into buying a real skeleton. The first price I found was $5,000, which put a real quick end to that. Fortunately, medical supply shops sell realistic human skeletons that have been cast from real skeletons that sell for a fraction of the price. Turns out, with a coupon and on free shipping week, you can have a skeleton shipped to the middle of Oklahoma for about $250. It I wasn’t already on any government watch lists (which I’m pretty sure I already was), I definitely am now.<\/p>\n

Yesterday I was talking on my phone with my ear buds in when Morgan delivered me the following hand-written note:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Yes, I am setting money aside for my children’s therapy fund. <\/p>\n

Once inside, the cat took an immediate interest in the box.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

One thing that scared me was the note on the side of the box: “some assembly required”. The box was obviously not 6′ long and so while it was obvious some<\/i> assembly would be required, I was hoping that the skeleton didn’t come in 206 individual pieces.<\/p>\n

Inside the big box was a smaller box. Inside the smaller box was this:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Well, at least that looked pre-assembled. With the head unboxed I began removing the rest of the skeleton. The base was the first thing I had to put together. The entire torso came assembled. All I really had to do was attach the arms and legs, which are held in place by cotter pins. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The skeleton came with a single piece of paper for instructions with no words on it and about five pictures. I guess they assume that since you already have a skeleton, you should be able to figure out how to assemble one.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Figuring out which leg was which threw us for a bit until Morgan remembered that knee caps go in the front. With that bit of information, putting everything else together was a breeze. The final piece of the puzzle was the skull, which slides down over a metal rail and is locked into place with a long metal spike. It should also be noted that the jaw is mounted with springs, so it should only take a modicum of work to turn this into a really creepy ventriloquist doll. <\/p>\n

One of the things I think is funniest about Christine’s skeleton is his name, “Boney T”. I knew he needed a good punny name with some reference to skeleton or bones or Halloween. One look at those ribs and his name instantly came to me.<\/p>\n

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Mick Rib<\/b>.<\/p>\n

\nRob and Mick. ‘Til death do us part.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two feet to my right is a toy Gizmo figure (from the movie Gremlins), standing on top of a model of Speed Racer’s car (the Mach 5), which itself sits next to a giant pile of unopened Star Wars Pez dispensers. On my left is a USB powered lightsaber, a toy Minotaur, a taco-shaped pouch for storing my USB thumb drives, and a boxed copy of Win, Lose, or Draw for the Nintendo Entertainment System. I have a room in my house dedicated to Star Wars toys, a bubble gum vending machine, a working payphone, and once bought a convertible… (read more)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6737","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6737"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6737\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robohara.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}