While walking through the kitchen the other day I noticed this package of Star Wars tissues sitting on the counter.

My wife, the eternal Girl Scout, is prepared. For anything. If we suddenly had to rappel off of something, build a sailboat, or perform a tracheotomy, I’m pretty sure my wife has the necessary components in her purse to do any of those things. If you were to be stranded on a desert island with only one person, she’s the person you should hope for. I’m sure my wife knows how to open a coconut on an island and get the milk out of it and all those other things you need to know to survive on an island. I, on the other hand, would be the guy that made a coconut bra and did a funny dance to keep everyone entertained.

My point here is that my wife probably needed some tissues for her purse and happened to pick some up that had Star Wars characters on them, whereas I would be the person who would buy these because they had Star Wars characters on them, even if I didn’t need any tissues at the time.

My Star Wars collection didn’t start out as a collection — it started out as a bunch of toys that I played with when I was a kid. As I previously said, anything in my collection that I have actual memories attached to, those are the things that are worth the most to me. I don’t know what percentage of my collection those things make up, but it’s not as much as you would think. 25%, maybe. The rest consists of newer toys I’ve bought just to fill shelves, or items like these tissues. I never got into collecting food with Star Wars characters on the labels, but I do have a box of cereal, a box of fruit roll-ups, and a box of Pop-Tarts in my collection. I have some Star Wars candy and some Star Wars Pogs and some Star Wars markers and, of course, a pile of those Star Wars Pez dispensers that came out several years ago.

As I find myself running low on display space (again) for my collection, I am becoming more discerning as to what I add to it. During a recent trip to Target I was met at the front door by a large display of Star Wars branded food. There were at least half a dozen different brands of cereal with Star Wars characters displayed on them, not to mention the cans of soup, the bottles of water… you name it. I’ve even seen pictures of fruit in Star Wars bags! I enjoy seeing these things, but I’m not as tempted as I once was to buy them.

There was a time when I would buy anything related to Star Wars. In my defense, there were some pretty dark and sparse years for a while for Star Wars fans. There were times — years at a time, in fact — where one might not see anything related to Star Wars on store shelves. Walking into Target or Walmart now and seeing an entire aisle dedicated to the new film is great! I love it! I just don’t need to own it all, anymore.

I’m glad my wife bought these tissues, but they probably won’t go up on a shelf to be treated like some kind of rare find. Instead we’ll open them and blow our noses into them and, depending on which side is facing up when I use one, I’ll probably do either a Yoda or a C-3P0 impersonation afterwards. (“Blow, or blow not. There is no try.”)

God help me if these things become rare and worth a million dollars in twenty years. I guess saving one package of them couldn’t hurt…

My Star Wars collection consists of hundreds upon hundreds of different items, but my favorite ones are the ones that have memories associated with them, like these cup toppers.

On December 17th, 2015, my family and I watched the premiere of The Force Awakens at El Capitan theater in Los Angeles, California. For the film’s debut some theater chains were distributing Star Wars branded popcorn tubs and drinking cups, and our theater happened to be one of those. Before the movie began, we purchased a set at the snack bar. Our cups came with these two figures (Chewbacca and a Flamethrower Clone Trooper) affixed to the lids.

When it comes to Star Wars collections, there is always another plateau to achieve. Guys like me with vintage (but well played with) toys look up to the guys with mint toys. In turn, those guys look up to guys with toys and action figures still in their original packaging. There are collectors who own things so rare that I’ve only seen pictures of them in books, and still other collectors who own actual props from the films. No matter what your collection looks like, there’s always someone else with more (or more valuable) stuff.

But things like these cup toppers possess a different kind of value. They’re worth more to me not because of how much they cost or how rare they are, but because of the memories associated with them. The Twin Pod Cloud Car Pilot my mom stuck on top of my eleventh birthday cake, the original Star Wars comic books my dad collected and passed down to me, the Star Wars posters I had hanging in my room as a kid that are now neatly folded in my closet… those are the collectibles I value the most. I own hundreds of Star Wars action figures, toys, and random collectibles that I’ve purchased over the past three decades, and while I like and enjoy them, they aren’t anywhere as important to me as the things I own that contain memories.

There will come a time, maybe sooner than later, that I “retire” from collecting Star Wars memorabilia. There’s even a chance that I could see myself parting with some of my collection. But you can bet that no matter what happens, I’ll hang on to things like these cup toppers forever. Ever time I see them I’ll be reminded of how I saw the first six Star Wars films in theaters with my parents, and how I saw The Force Awakens in the theater with my kids.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s a new Star Wars movie coming out two days from now. For this week’s Star Wednesday article, I decided to write about something that really takes me back to my childhood: these vintage cardbacks.

Cardbacks were, of course, the pieces of cardboard that Star Wars action figures came attached to. All of these cardbacks are ones I acquired as a kid. Santa always opened the presents he left in our stockings or under the tree, so chances are most of these were birthday gifts from friends or ones I begged my parents to buy me at the store. I have nine cardbacks in all: three from The Empire Strikes Back (AT-AT Commander, AT-AT Driver, and Twin-Pod Cloud Car Pilot), five from Return of the Jedi (Biker Scout, Chief Chirpa, Emperor’s Royal Guard, Logray, Princess Leia Organa as Boushh), and one Power of the Force card (AT-ST Driver).

Most of the cards still have their price tags intact. The cheapest price tags are for Boushh, Chief Chirpa, and Logray. Each of those Return of the Jedi figures cost me (or someone) $2.59 each at Target. The most expensive figures, the Biker Scout and Emperor’s Royal Guard (also both from Return of the Jedi) cost $3.49 each at Hyde Drug. AT-AT Commander, AT-AT Driver, and the Twin-Pod Cloud Car Pilot all came from TG&Y. The first two were $2.77 and the pilot was $3.29. My lone Power of the Force card has the price tag completely scraped off.

Kenner changed their mail in offers frequently. These two cards contain offers for a Star Wars Display Arena and 4-LOM, a bounty hunter from The Empire Strikes Back. 4-LOM would have set you back 5 proofs of purchase (available on the back of all action figure and playsets), while the Display Arena required 10 (plus $2 for shipping). Don’t bother sending them in now. The display offer expired in May of 1982, while the 4-LOM offer expired three months after that.

Each cardback contained a list of every available figure at that time so kids would know which ones they were missing. The earliest cards released contained 12 action figures and are known as “12 Backs.” Those are super expensive and I don’t have any of them. The oldest cardback I have shows 45 figures, while the most recent one has 92.

I know that a lot (and perhaps the majority?) of Star Wars toys purchased today are by adult collectors (like me). My kids don’t have any interest in Star Wars toys (or most toys at all, for that matter). Maybe things will change next week. These cards remind me of a time when Star Wars was for kids, when there was nothing more exciting than talking your mother out of a new action figure while visiting Hyde Drug.

May the Force be with you all. See you Thursday night!

In the late 1970s, Kenner released twelve unique 12″ Star Wars action figures. The first ten figures were from Star Wars, while the last two (Boba Fett and IG-88) were from The Empire Strikes Back. The line didn’t sell well and was abandoned before more figures from Empire and Jedi were released. And while this particular toy wasn’t actually a part of Kenner’s vintage 12″ line of toys, he was close enough to scale that I always thought of him as one.

The Yoda Hand Puppet, released in 1981, was made out of vinyl and, other than a few strands of white hair stitched to the back of his head, was made of one single piece. Yoda is a puppet in the loosest of terms. He is hollow, but his mouth (which most people think of when they hear the word “puppet”) is not articulated. Instead, kids could make Yoda nod (“Yes, Luke!”), bring his hands up toward his chin, and… that’s about it.

This Yoda Hand Puppet is the one I owned as a kid. I can’t remember if I got him for Christmas or a birthday, but I do remember opening the box.

Again, as far as puppets go, the Yoda Hand Puppet is pretty lame. Of course as a display toy, he was pretty cool. The sculpt was detailed for the time, and as a kid there was always something cool about having toys that were “big.” While this Yoda was actually a little too large to be a part of the original 12″ line of figures, he’s almost perfect when displayed next to Jakks Pacific’s newer line of 18″ figures.

The back of the Yoda Hand Puppet box shows one child playing with the Yoda Hand Puppet and another playing with the then recently released yellow Force lightsaber. Both items were also featured in television commercials as well. Check out the amazing range of articulation on that puppet in this commercial!

My Star Wars collection can be divided into three categories: things I owned as a child (and still own today), things I used to own as a child (and replaced over time), and new toys and collectibles I’ve bought as an adult. This die-cast X-Wing Fighter falls into the first category. This is the same one I owned back in the late 1970s.

Everybody is familiar with Kenner’s original line of 3 3/4″ action figures and their accompanying ships and play sets, but not everyone remembers all the other toys Kenner also released in 1979. Along with a few board games and radio-controlled toys, Kenner also released four miniature die-cast ships in 1978.

The original wave of die-cast ships released in 1978 included this X-Wing fighter, along with Luke’s Landspeeder, Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter, and a traditional TIE Fighter. The following year, Kenner released four additional vehicles, followed by another three for The Empire Strikes Back. Each ship had a plastic part or two that attached to the toys’ metal hull, and you can tell what they were by what parts are now missing from the ones you find in the wild. Due to their relatively small size, these ships weren’t terribly detailed. The X-Wing only had a couple of colors applied. R2’s dome was completely silver, and Luke (or whoever the pilot is) is completely orange. The X-Wing Fighter originally came with a clear canopy that fell off way too easily. It also had four rubber laser cannons that, as you can see here, got bent over time.

Because these things were so small I took them to school with me more than once. They slipped easily into lunch boxes and pencil bags and could be removed during lunch and recess. One vivid memory I have of this specific toy was holding it at arm’s length and running around the playground, pretending I was controlling a real spaceship. Whenever I would “fly” over a small mount of dirt I would kick it, pretending that the dirt flying up into the air was the result of a well-placed laser bolt. At home I remember doing the same thing while riding my bike.

I don’t recall for sure how many of those eight vintage die-cast vehicles I owned in all, but today I own three of them. All three have missing parts and display many battle scratches from the many playground adventures we had back in the late 70s.

I don’t remember when or where I got this 8-Track. In a way, it seems like I’ve always had it, and yet I’ve never listened to it. I’ve never owned an 8-Track player — I was raised on vinyl, followed by cassettes. I don’t even know if this 8-Track tape actually works.

The tape contains the original soundtrack, as composed and conducted by John Williams as performed by the London Symphony Orchestra (I read the label). The tape is a “twin pack.” I originally thought this meant that the original package contained two packs, but from what I now understand, “twin pack” meant “long play.” I believe regular 8-Tracks could hold 40 minutes of audio and twin packs held twice that, so by adding up the times of all the songs this makes sense.

The tape has a copyright date of 1977. I’ve also seen this same 8-Track in a pink plastic case; I assume that’s a later release. One thing I find interesting about the song titles is the one labeled “Ben’s Death and TIE Fighter Attack.” Talk about spoilers! This is something Lucas repeated on the Phantom Menace soundtrack, with the track titles “Qui-Gon’s Noble End” and “The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon’s Funeral”. I will not be reading the track titles for the new movie until after watching it!

I keep this 8-Track because to me it represents how long Star Wars has been around. The movie soundtrack was released on 8-Track, vinyl, cassette, and of course CD. It was even released in limited numbers on reel-to-reel! The movies have been released on Betamax, VHS, Laserdisc, DVD, and Blu-ray. Whatever new audio and video formats that appear in the future, you can be sure that Star Wars will appear on them as well.

For a couple of reasons, I decided this week for Star Wednesday I would write about my 12″ Lando Calrissian figure.

In 1978, Kenner released a super-sized line of Star Wars figures. It’s referred to as the 12″ line, even though many/most of them are a couple of inches taller than that. In all, 12 figures were released: ten from Star Wars (R2-D2 and C-3P0, Ben Kenobi, Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Han Solo, Jawa, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Stormtrooper) and two from the Empire Strikes Back (Boba Fett and IG-88). For the record, I owned five of them as a kid (Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, Vader, and Boba Fett) and currently own four (I lost Luke and Leia, but gained C-3P0). The figures retailed for $10.99, which (according to the online inflation calculator I just used) would cost roughly $39.99 in 2015 dollars. I don’t know why they cancelled the line so early (low sales and high cost, I’d guess) but they did.

In the mid 90s, along with the new Power of the Force line of 3 3/4″ figures, Kenner also relaunched a line of 12″ figures known as the Collector Series. Unlike the original run of figures, Kenner didn’t stop at 12 — dozens and dozens of different figures were released in this new scale. By the time Admiral Ackbar, Greedo, and all six aliens from the Mos Eisley Cantina band show up, you know everybody’s been invited to the party…

Anyway, one of the earlier 12″ figures released was Lando Calrissian. The Collector Series ran from 1996 to 2000, and Lando, part of the second wave, was released in 1997.

All things considered, it’s a pretty good looking figure. Other than the somewhat unnatural position of the arms (which make Lando look like he might bear hug you to death), everything else looks good. The head sculpt resembles Billy Dee Williams, and the muscles (unlike his 3 3/4″ counterpart) aren’t bulging like He-Man. He’s wearing his traditional Empire Strikes Back blue and black outfit, along with his weird wristwatch/communicator and a sweet cape. (I swear to you, one of these days I’m going to get a job that allows me to wear a cape.)

I’m not writing about Lando today because of any of that. I’m writing about this Lando Calrissian figure today because he’s black.

There weren’t many black characters in the original trilogy. Along with Lando Calrissian, on screen you’ve got African American Bespin Guard and Oola, Jabba the Hutt’s private dancer (and Rancor’s lunch).

Off screen we had the inimitable James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader and Ahmad Best as the voice of Jar Jar Binks, and behind a mask we had Tony Cox (a little person who you might remember from Bad Santa) as one of the many anonymous ewoks. In the prequels we got Samuel L. Jackson as Jedi Master Mace Windu, along with Captain Typho and Quarsh Panaka.

A couple of weeks ago, Disney released the official full-length trailer for the upcoming Star Wars film, The Force Awakens.

For anyone who hasn’t seen it, the trailer features John Boyega as an apparently AWOL Stormtrooper (I don’t know for sure; I’m avoiding spoilers). Shortly after that, a hashtag began trending on Twitter: #BoycottStarWarsVII. The people behind the boycott claim that J.J. Abrams (director of the new film) is pushing his anti-white agenda by featuring an African American lead in the new Star Wars film.

Let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we?

First of all, to find the racism inherent in Star Wars all one has to do is go back to its creator, George Lucas. Here is a picture of the racist Mr. Lucas with his wife.

The reality is, a couple of (literally, two) Grade-A trolls/assholes figured out how to “play” Twitter by generating a bunch of tweets using the hashtag #BoycottStarWarsVII. When people saw and began responding to those tweets, Twitter picked up on the activity and added it to their list of “trending topics” — and once it was there, it was all over.

In reality, 99% of the Twitter traffic generated by this hashtag was from people responding to it and saying (using a variety of words and phrases) “that’s not cool.” Today, at its height, the @BoycottStarWarsVII Twitter account has 332 followers.

(I’m a nobody on Twitter and I have 900, if that tells you anything.)

The account has switched focus and its latest tweets are racist attacks against Ben Carson in an attempt to get responses from the media. Somewhere, in their parents’ basement, a couple of kids are giggling and having the time of their lives. I’m sure they can’t believe that the media (or anyone else) would take their goofs on Twitter seriously, but they did, to the point where media outlets are now having to write articles to explain that the previously reported news story wasn’t really news.

Article explaining the farce on Vox.com
Article explaining the farce on Esquire.com

So while lots of news outlets (Salon|USA Today|CNN) covered this non-event, they all got the wrong story: the real story was “a couple of kids trolled the internet and mass media into thinking Star Wars fans are racist.”

Here’s the reality: first, the Star Wars universe contains people of all races and colors. Greedo was green, Walrus Man was blue, Luke was white, Lando was black, and Admiral Ackbar was a squid. For anyone who doubts this, here’s a picture of the Jedi Council:

We’ve never seen racism depicted in any of the films, and except for a couple of internet trolls, we’ve (or at least I’ve) never seen it in fans either. I’ve attended lots of conventions (both sci-fi and video game themed) and seen all kinds of people there: boys and girls, young and old, skinny and fat, straight and gay, and of course, black and white (and everything in between). I’ve never met anyone who lamented the fact that Lando Calrissian or the voice of Darth Vader were portrayed by black actors. Fans of Star Wars are inclusive.

Back to poor Lando; this particular one is too large to take to work, but I have a spare 3 3/4″ Lando figure that’s headed to my desk — not as a political statement, but as a personal reminder that Star Wars is for everybody. Everybody deserves to enjoy the greatest films ever made (at least the first three…) and everybody (especially children) deserves to see characters on screen that they can relate to. May the Force be with ALL Star Wars fans.

#AllFansMatter

Along with the Death Star and the Millennium Falcon, Kenner’s Imperial Walker (also known as an All Terrain Armored Transport or, more simply, an AT-AT) was one of the largest toys released in the vintage line. According to Star Wars lore, AT-ATs were approximately 65′ long and 75′ tall, large enough to hold multiple smaller ships or up to 40 additional soldiers inside their massive hull. Kenner’s version was slightly smaller than that — it measured 17.5″ tall and 22″ long. The one pictured here is significantly smaller than that.

I paid a quarter for this AT-AT four or five years ago at a garage sale. Disregarding size, Kenner’s 1981 version isn’t proportioned quite right; depending on your point of view it’s either too far or too short. This version is much closer to the way the AT-ATs appeared in the film. I love the amount of detail on this model. Even for such a small toy, the entire thing (even the under carriage) contains lots of tiny sculpted details.

Here is the AT-AT next to a 3 3/4″ Snowtrooper, for purposes of scale.

For years I didn’t know what this specific model came from. I had assumed it either came with a Happy Meal or as part of a larger play set. After asking around yesterday online, a fellow member of iGrewUpStarWars informed me that it was part of Micro Machines’ Action Fleet series, released in the mid-to-late 90s. The funniest thing about that is that I actually own one of those — I just didn’t recognize it because the other one I own is still mint in the box!

This version of the AT-AT has limited mobility. The head adjusts slightly. The legs move but the knees and ankles do not. If you want the thing to stand up, this is pretty much how the legs have to be positioned. The top of the AT-AT’s cockpit opens up as does the access panel on the side of the machine, revealing a small ramp with a handrail which you can see below. In the picture above you can see the two small figures that originally came with the AT-AT.

I didn’t own any of the vintage Star Wars Micro Machine toys, so I’m always drawn to new ones when I see them. Over the years we’ve been sold miniature versions of the same ships over and over again, but every now and then I’ll run across one (sometimes at a garage sale for a quarter) that makes me smile.

While Kenner only offered one creature each for Star Wars (the Patrol Dewback) and Return of the Jedi (the Rancor), for The Empire Strikes Back they offered two: the Wampa and the Tauntaun, both of which originally retailed for $8.99 in stores. As you can see, I paid almost three times that ($24.99) for this one in a fairly beat up box a few years ago.

Note the vintage sticker price of $7.77 on this particular box. Like other Kenner boxes, the back of this one shows you suggested ways to play with your tauntaun. You can move his arms and legs and insert a figure into the trap door on the tauntaun’s back to create the illusion that they were riding the creature.

In the movie, tauntauns were two-legged “reptomammals,” native to Hoth and ridden by members of the rebellion. In the film we see both Han and Luke riding around the frozen landscape on the creatures. In fact, Luke, while riding a tauntaun, is the first character we see in Empire.

Aside from transportation, in the movie we also learn that a dead tauntaun’s belly is a good place to stick someone to prevent them from freezing. When Han discovers Luke passed out face down in the snow and nearly frozen to death after escaping from the Wampa’s lair, Han saves his friend’s life by cutting open the tauntaun’s belly with Luke’s lightsaber and stuffing him inside. This leads to Han’s classic line, “I thought they smelled bad… on the outside!”

Somehow over the years I ended up with three of these smelly beasts.

The original tauntaun toy went on sale in 1980, the same year Empire was released. In 1982 the toy was updated to include a slit open belly that allowed children to pretend it was dead and shove an action figure inside. That’s kind of gross, now that I think about it. Unfortunately, none of the ones I own are the 1982 updated version. The one on the left is the one I originally owned as a kid. The one in the middle was inside the box I purchased. I’m not sure where the one on the right came from. It’s missing its bride and saddle, so I’m sure it’s not my original one.

While tauntauns certainly seemed alive on the big screen, the illusion was created by using a few different techniques. The ones that ran were miniatures, animated using old school stop motion effects…

…while the other ones that appeared with actors were built out of wood and foam and had people rocking them from underneath:

In 1998, Hasbro released a new tauntaun as part of their Power of the Force line of toys. I have one of those, too:

As you can see, the sculpt is much more detailed and less cartoonish looking. Unfortunately, the legs are positioned in such a way that occasionally getting the newer ones to stand upright is a real pain in the asteroid. Then again, the legs on the vintage tauntaun tended to loosen as well (at least one of mine’s legs have been glued into place), so they both had their problems.

Approximately the same price as three action figures, tauntauns were a pretty common toy among Star Wars kids. While it’s pretty common to find loose models with the bridle and saddle missing, other than that there aren’t really any other parts to lose. Lots of these survived, including the three I own.

(I shortened this weekly feature’s name from “Star Wars Wednesday” to “Star Wednesday” — it’s no less horrible, just shorter.)

On this week’s Star Wednesday, I’ll be taking a look at this metal Boba Fett coin bank.

I own hundreds (if not thousands) of Star Wars collectibles that offer no real world functionality. They sit on shelves, and I enjoy looking at them, but they don’t do anything. I have shelves and shelves of items like that, which is why over the past few years I’ve started looking for Star Wars related items that I can incorporate into my daily life: coffee mugs, t-shirts, or in this case, a coin bank.

I got this coin bank (along with the R2-D2 one) at Big Lots a couple of years ago for somewhere between $5 and $10. According to Amazon there’s a third one featuring Darth Vader, but because the shape of Darth Vader’s mask is nothing like the top of this bank (like Boba Fett and R2), it’s almost unrecognizable. I wouldn’t go (and haven’t gone) out of my way to pick up the Vader one. According to a sticker on the bottom of the bank these were made in 2012.

The bank itself is cylindrical, with a dome on top that pops off and two arms attached to the sides. All three banks (Fett, R2 and Vader) are physically identical with different paint jobs. The graphics on the Boba Fett one are nice, both front and back. It’s missing his iconic blast damage on the front of the helmet, but does have his traditional Mandalorian insignia on the chest plate and some nice shading overall to give the appearance of some depth to the helmet and armor.

As far as coin banks go… it’s a coin bank. You drop coins in through a slot on the top of his head and they stay inside until you pop the top off and empty the coins out. There just aren’t a lot of ways to mess up the design of a coin bank. I have on occasion managed to accidentally shove the lid down inside the bank when trying to snap the lid back on, which causes the tube to temporarily bend out of shape. The metal is slightly thicker than that of a standard can of soda, but not much. When empty, you could easily squeeze and crush the bank, though I don’t really recommend trying it.

I don’t know how I acquire so much loose change but I do. I always seem to have a pocket full of it and yet I never seem to think to spend it unless whatever I’m buying is just a few cents over the even dollar amount. For years I’ve stored all this change in a bowl on our table (or, more commonly, in my truck’s center console) but this little bank gives me a place to put it. I like the fact that you can stick this on your desk either at home or work and not take up a lot of space while still representing Star Wars with a functional item.

Fett’s almost full of republican credits now and I can’t wait to carry this guy into my local credit union, pop the top of his helmet off, and buy myself a drink in the Mos Eisley cantina.