Shortly after the two of them first meet, Shrek tries explaining to Donkey that ogres, like onions, have layers.
Novels have layers, too.
As I mentioned the other day, I’ve been writing some of my scenes in almost a short hand style of writing. Something like:
Skip pours a drink. Monica stares at the sea. Skip does something. Monica throws her glass out into the ocean.
Usually this happens when either (a) I’m tired, (b) I’m not really in the mood to be writing, or (c) I’m writing an action scene, and my fingers can’t keep up with my brain.
Within a day, I go back through that stuff and convert everything into full sentences.
Skip poured himself a drink. Monica, ignoring him, continued to stare out at the sea. Skip said something. Monica picked up her glass and tossed it into the sea. “How’s that?”
At this point the scene is coming together, but the writing isn’t. I know that by the end of the scene I need Skip to say something to upset Monica and I want Monica to toss her drink into the ocean, but I haven’t finished it. Maybe I’m more interested in the next scene, or I just haven’t figured out exactly how it’s going to work. Eventually, I get to what I call phase 3. This is where all the text has been cleaned up and paragraphs have been broken up and so on.
Monica poured another glass of wine and set the bottle back on the table. “Eventually, you’re going to have to face your past.”
“Oh, look who’s talking! You’ve done nothing but drink away your past since we got on this cruise!”
Monica looked at Skip and without looking away, tossed her glass over the balcony’s rail out into the ocean.”
So here we have a scene. It works; I’ve got people interacting and it begins and ends “kind of” the way I wanted, but… ehhh, it’s not great. It’s missing a theme, some joke or word or action or something that ties it all together. That’s where Layer 4 comes in.
Monica poured the last of the wine into her glass, placing the bottle back in the bowl of melted ice between them. “Eventually, you’re going to have to face reality.”
“Oh, look who’s talking! You’re done nothing but chase down drinks since we got here.”
Monica turned toward Skip and, without looking away, tossed her wine glass over the railing into the ocean. “Why don’t you chase that one?”
So, I like this version a lot better, for a few reasons:
01. Monica drinks the last of the wine. It’s a tiny change, but mentally, I think it signals the “end” of something.
02. In between them you now have ice (there’s ice between them), and it’s also melted, which tells us they’ve been sitting out there for a while without having to tell you they’ve been sitting out there for a while.
03. We’ve now got a connection between the last two sentences. Skip says “chase your own pain” and Monica follows with “chase that one.” If you think about it, this is how people talk when they fight — they quote each other and repeat key words.
Again, I’m not saying this is right or wrong. I’m simply documenting the way I go about writing novels (or at least went about writing this one).
I have to turn in 25,000 words by 3/22. As of this morning, I am at 22,000. My goal is to meet my word goal by the end of the week so that I’ll have enough time to go back and get my layers in place.