Last month the computer speakers I keep connected to my laptop died. I paid $5 for the speakers back in the mid-90s. In 1996, I connected a power supply with too much voltage to the speakers, which caused a loud POP which was followed by smoke. (Yes, I let the smoke out of them.) Without a power supply connected, the speakers continued to work for another 19 years. I feel like I got my money’s worth out of them — no complaints there.

While in Texas on vacation I stopped by Fry’s to pick up a replacement, and I was surprised to find so many inexpensive pairs to choose from! I settled on an $8 pair of speakers that looked really good on the box. They contained a subwoofer and two satellite speakers. When I got them home and took them out of the box I was amazed at how cheap and light the speakers were. Each speaker weighs less than a deck of cards. I feel like I could crush them by squeezing them, or possibly simply by touching them.

Cyclops Man is not impressed, and neither was Morgan. My daughter, whose concept of high-fidelity is listening to music through the speaker on her iPod, described the speakers as “horrible crap.”

I decided to take a different approach by heading to Amazon and increasing my budget a bit. This time I ordered a $50 pair of speakers. My plan here was to take the so-so speakers from my computer, move them to the laptop, and then put the new $50 speakers on my main workstation.

The new speakers arrived in a big brown Amazon shipping box that looked great. When I opened the box, this is what the box inside that box looked like:

The Cryptkeeper is laughing at this. Here’s another picture of the outside of the box:

And when I opened the box, this is what the inside looked like.

The cardboard was as wet and soggy as it appears to be in these pictures, and the speakers inside the box were as wet as the cardboard. I’m really not that picky and so after letting the speakers dry off I hooked them up and… they rattle. I don’t know if it’s from the water or if they were dropped, but they definitely rattle.

I have never returned anything to Amazon but the process was quick and simple — in fact, they cross shipped me a new pair of speakers before I even returned the first pair. How’s that for service!

Centaur Man is impressed with the service… but not the speakers. This time, the right speaker doesn’t work. By moving the cable around I can tell it’s a loose connecting inside the “master” speaker. I haven’t decided if I’m going to open them up and fix it (and void the warranty) or if I’m just going to ship them all back.

I’ve had nothing but great luck with Amazon for many years now so I hope this is all a coincidence.