Went to bed around 2:30am.

Was woken up by my wife at 6:00am. “Mason’s been up since 4:30am. Your turn.”

Susan flopped into bed, I got up and did my normal morning parenting duties (put on a movie for Mason, got on the laptop).

At 7:00am, Mason stood up and said, “I have an idea.”

“You have an idea?” I said.

“No. I have da dea.”

“What?” I asked. Then I saw it.

Diarrhea.

“RUN” I shouted, and pointed to the bathroom, but it was too late. Like a feces inspired version of Hansel and Gretel, Mason left a very follow-able trail of poop in the carpet all the way from the living room to the bathroom.

I headed “operation rinse” and started spraying Mason off in the tub, while Susan manned “operation carpet cleaning”, spraying some magic stuff in the carpet, trying to remove the dark brown spots from the light brown carpet.

I’ve been up less than 2 hours …