Well, we’ve been in the hospital for a month now … ok, it’s just been 24 hours actually, but it seems like it’s been forever. Sleeping in a chair last night was a bitch, let me tell you. Well, actually, I *can’t* tell you, because after two hours of it I snuck out to the car and went home to catch a few Zzz’s.

One of the funniest things has been the hospital’s food selection for Mason. The only two choices are, “baby food” or “regular food”. Well, Mason doesn’t eat baby food any longer, so we told them “regular food.” For Mason’s first meal at the hospital, they brought him steak, a baked potato, brocoli and cheese, a roll, and some pudding. Oh, and a side salad, complete with cucumber and tomato chunks. Well, Mason liked the roll and pudding. We found the hospital’s secret stash later and stole some cans of fruit cocktail and peaches which he actually ate. Steak? For a one year old? When one of the nurses asked if he liked his steak, I told her, “well, he hasn’t mastered a STEAK KNIFE yet …” Dumbasses.

Late last night, they said Mason’s oxygen levels were “getting low”, so they hooked him up to the ol’ oxygen tube. I was laughing the entire time. So far, he’s disabled the electronic bed, reprogrammed half the machines in the room, and taken off every sensor they’ve stuck to him. So when the nurse told me that Mason would “forget about the tube stuck up his nose,” I just laughed. I asked another nurse, “have you all ever done this before?” Mason’s breathing treatments consist of him having to inhale his medicine for five minutes, so it is administered to him via a gas mask breaking apparatus. The nurse got onto me yesterday and said, “he’s not getting enough medicine because he’s fighting so much,” to which I responded, “I’ll have a talk with the ol’ one year old later and try and explain to him that you’re not trying to KILL him.” When I asked if they had ever done this before, I was only half being sarcastic.

Mason might get to go home tonight but I’ve found hospitals are a lot like hotels, if you’re there after 3pm they figure you’ve already paid up for the night so you “might as well stay.” Oh boy, more salisbury steak and brocoli with cheese, yum yum! Hopefully we’re looking at going home Wednesday morning. Mason’s sounding much better. He’s still got a little raspiness when they listen with a stethiscope, but for the most part he’s acting and feeling just fine.

Oh, and he had the oxygen tube out in twelve seconds.