Yesterday marked the 42nd annual Czech Festival in Yukon, Oklahoma. I’ve attended over half of them (essentially every one since 1978) and participated in a few as a kid, but it’s possible 2007’s festival may have been my last.
After taking a look at my review of last year’s Czech Festival, I’d say all the things I complained about last year held true once again this year. Same crowds, same crazy parking, same rude people walking up and standing directly in front of us five minutes before the parade starts. In that same entry from last year, I mentioned the three main things we look forward to at every Czech Festival: the Shriners, the candy-throwing, and the spotting of old friends.
The 2007 Czech Festival marked several firsts. For example, this was the first year that throwing candy to the crowd was prohibited. Risking life and limb by darting in and out of traffic for the sake of a Tootsie Pop has been a long standing parade tradition, but apparently the ever-growing fear of a kid getting run over by a float (and the ensuing lawsuit) was enough to finally ban candy-throwing. A quick Google search shows that this trend is sweeping cities across America after one or two kids were run over by parade floats. Parade floats move pretty slow, and I’m not sure we need anyone who can’t manage to stay out of their way breeding. Apparently parade organizers don’t see this as the postive example of natural selection that I do. And so, this year, no candy. No throwing candy, no passing out candy, nothing. I had two kids who went to the Czech Festival with a trick-or-treat bucket and it was as empty after the parade as before. And for the record, my five-year-old could really give a crap about kids in Czech costumes riding down the street, sitting on Miatas. You want my kids’ attention? You throw bubble gum.
The other part of the parade everyone looks forward to are the Shriners. I’m know Shriners do a lot of things like run hospitals and help sick kids, but the most important thing they do is ride kick ass three wheelers in parades. To quote myself from last year’s Czech Festival entry, “the Shriners always appear near the end of the parade because there is no other way parade organizers could get thousands of people to stand around watching dozens of Mazda Miatas cruising by at 2mph with kids sitting on the back waving to the masses unless they knew that something exciting was coming later.” The Shriners’ fast-paced antics are everyone’s reward for sitting through all the other crap. I don’t know why the Shriners weren’t there this year. If throwing candy was deemed too dangerous then old men burning rubber and doing wheelies on two, three and four-wheeled vehicles may have been too much as well. Calling the Shriners’ tricks a highlight of the parade is an understatement. Their appearance comprises a fourth of the parade, otherwise known as “the fourth worth staying awake for.”
As for the spotting of friends … there were some, just not mine. While neither Susan nor I ran into any of the friends we normally see, Mason ran into two or three of his classmates. I suppose a changing of the guard is upon us.
Will the 2007 Czech Festival be my last? I don’t know. I had always assumed that someday my own enjoyment of the parade would subside and it would become something I attended for my kids instead. With no Shriners and no candy, Mason and Morgan were completely bored and it’s going to be a tough sell to get them to go next year.
Yesterday’s Daily Oklahoman had an article about the Yukon parade in their little Metro section. Plusses and Minuses. Plusses… kolaches, costumes, float – Best Little Hair House in Yukon. Minuses… clown (?) walking behind the horses with a shovel, talking on cell phone and looking bored; NO CANDY; floats consisting of a car with a business name on the side/windshield; politicians in cars making up most of the floats. Pretty much the same conclusion we came to. It just ain’t the same as it used to be!