My nightly walk begins with a left-hand turn, past my stupid redneck neighbor’s house who’s stupid redneck dog barks the entire time I’m walking in front of their house. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. I think he’s saying, “help, I’ve been captured by a stupid redneck, please free me!” But I cannot, I’m too busy walking.

After only one house I turn right onto 7th street. Ever since being hit by a car, I’m pretty paranoid about cars coming up behind me. So, when possible, I walk on the left side of the road, facing oncoming traffic. There’s one house on 7th street that always has his garage door open. I walked past the house tonight at 11:30, and the garage door was still open.

7th Street curves around to the right and I follow it. After a vacant field there are four duplexes. All of them are always dark except for one where a girl is always sitting in front of her computer. It’s weird because the street is rather dark and the only light comes from a computer monitor in this one window, where you can see the outline of a girl’s head in front of it. This street is all downhill so it goes pretty quickly.

Then I turn right on 6th street. There are no street lights on the left hand side of the street, and the whole left hand side of the road opens up into a big wilderness thing, so I switch over to the right hand side. Three houses down an old broken down truck sits that I have to walk around. Alongside the same house is a Dell computer box. If I ever need to steal a Dell computer, now I know where to go. This is the busiest street of the walk. Occasionally there’s a dog wandering around here too. I’ve only seen him a couple of times but I always look for him.

At the duck pond I turn right onto Azalea Hill. Here I cross from the right hand side back to the left — unless the house halfway up the street on the left is having a party, then I stay to the right. There are two or three houses on both sides of the street that park their cars in the road, so regardless of which side I walk down I end up walking around cars. Tonight the house on the left was having a party and I ended up walking within a foot of a couple of kids making out leaning on the back of a car. I scared them as much as they scared me. Sorry, loverboy. Azalea is really steep — at the bottom of the include is a grate in the ground. When I cross it, I know the hill’s starting. Parked at the top of the hill is another broken down pickup (hey, it IS Oklahoma). So I keep an eye on the truck, knowing that’s where the pain stops.

Just past the truck is 7th street again. I turn right and usually stick to the right, since it’s only 5-6 houses down to my street. There’s one house where a guy is often out working in his garage. He’ll have his garage open and I’ll peer in to see what he’s working on.

Finally I turn right back onto my street, walk pass ol faithful the stupid redneck barking mutt, and back into my own driveway.