Recently, Susan and I overheard another parent making a snide remark about us in regards to the fact that we had handed one of our kids five bucks to go spend. The comment implied that we were rich people, spoiling our kids. The comment didn’t particularly make me mad (it actually made me laugh), but it did make me reflect back on the “silver spoon” I was handed in life.

My freshman year of college, I worked 40 hours a week at Pizza Hut while attending school full time. It seemed like a lot of hours at the time, but it was nothing compared to my sophomore year. That year, along with working 40 hours a week at Pizza Inn, I also put in 20 hours a week at the school itself (10 hours a week as the school’s newspaper editor, and another 10 hours a week as the yearbook editor). That’s 60 hours a week in addition to attending school full time. The two jobs paid for my school books, my car insurance, and eventually, my rent. I ate a lot of free pizza during those years. During the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college, I stacked bundles of newsprint at Oklahoma Graphics for twelve hours a day. Most weeks, I only worked three days. Sometimes, when someone else took vacation, I’d have to work eleven (that’s 132 hours in two weeks). Occasionally, I still have nightmares about working there.

My junior year (the year Susan and I moved in together), I worked 45-50 hours a week at a Long John Silvers 20 miles west of school. The money barely covered my tuition, my books, my rent, my car insurance, and my gas. Susan and I ate a lot of free fish from Long John Silvers that year.

By the end of our junior year, the two of us were broker than broke. As I’ve mentioned before, we borrowed money from my Dad to put wheels on our mobile home and have it towed back to Oklahoma City. We were unemployed for months. To quote an earlier blog post:

For a month or two, it looked like we might not make it. Jeff paid our electric bill one month, just to keep us going. When the air conditioner died, we borrowed two box fans and put one near the front door and one near the back door just to keep (hot) air flowing through. Susan has always had a knack in the kitchen for making “something out of nothing”, but once there was literally nothing left to eat in the house, we began raiding my dad’s cupboards on occasion, pilfering packages of Ramen Noodles and jars of peanut butter.

That’s not the half of it. For example, during that time I got a terrible sinus infection and, due to a lack of insurance, simply laid on the floor for a day or two while bright green snot oozed from every hole on my face. After several months of unemployment, Susan’s mom opened up a BBQ restaurant and the two of us began working there. We ate a lot of free BBQ during that time. That gig lasted a few months.

Right before landing a job at Best Buy, the engine in my Ford Festiva blew up. I took out a (23% interest) loan and replaced the Festiva with a Volkswagen Dune Buggy. Before I could afford insurance on the Dune Buggy, it first broke down, and then was stolen. I then traded my Dad my PC for a Nissan pickup, which I drove while I spent two years making loan and insurance payments on a Dune Buggy I no longer owned.

In the mid-1990s, Susan and I landed the ancient predecessors of the jobs we have today out at the FAA. Soon afterwards, we bought a 110-year-old house that by all rights should have been condemned. Around that same time I bought my first new car, a brand new Dodge Neon. I had finally hit the big time. I was making $10/hour.

For thirteen of the past sixteen years, I’ve worked as a federal IT contractor. In 1996 I applied for and accepted a job as a federal LAN Administrator, a strategic career move that resulted in a lower paying job 1,800 miles away from home. We sold our house and moved cross country into a “cozy” apartment. Shortly after Susan and I relocated, her car got stolen and the engine blew up. We were there for eighteen months before moving back home. In the late 1990s I applied for a promotion, and was temporarily awarded the position on the condition that I passed multiple Microsoft tests. After buying, reading, and studying several self-study guides, I became a Microsoft Certified System Engineer (MCSE). In 2005, I went back to college and (finally) earned my BA. I’m still paying on that loan. In 2009, I applied for and got another federal job by leaving behind the job and friends I’ve been working with for the past decade. The move was a huge personal sacrifice. Fortunately in 2010 I was able to transfer back to my old organization, but as a federal employee. I make less money than I was making three years ago.

Look — I’m not trying to imply I’ve had some sort of hard life. I haven’t. In fact, to date, I’ve had a relatively cushy and darn good one. But just know this; any money I hand my kids comes from my own pocket; not a trust fund, or any inheritance, or lottery winnings.

Since this random person was so kind to offer us free advice on how to live our lives, allow me to return the favor: spend less time worrying about how other people live their lives, and more time handling your own business. From where you’re standing, maybe I do look “rich”. Just know that , twenty years ago, I was standing where you are now. The difference is, I didn’t waste my time handing out snotty comments. Instead I worked my way through school, made some sacrifices, bettered myself, got a job, and worked there for sixteen years. True, my suggested path doesn’t allow for as much free time to stand around judging others, but I’ll guarantee you’ll have five bucks in your pocket at all times — and a little bit of self-worth to go with it.