Susan has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and, because of this, she may not be able to eat regular food for a day or two. This led to a conversation of, “if you were on death row, what would your last meal be?” I chose “snake from Siberia,” because I thought that might give me a few extra days of life as someone headed off to chase down a Russian snake. I knew what Susan’s choice would be before she even spoke: chicken fried steak, with mashed potatoes and green beans.

After work, while Susan was picking up the kids from school, I whipped out my iPhone and searched for “the best chicken fried steak in Oklahoma City”. Both Chuck House and Del Rancho popped up, but I was looking for more of a sit down style restaurant. The next two hits were Jimmy’s Roundup Cafe and Ann’s Chicken Fry. The last time Susan and I went to Jimmy’s Roundup (about 10 years ago), we saw multiple cockroaches. Instead, I decided to surprise Susan with a trip to Ann’s Chicken Fry.

Surprise — Ann’s Chicken Fry is closed on Monday’s. Well, poop. I hit Google one last time and came up with Kyle’s 1025, located at NW 70th and Western (Nichols Hills).

My first thought upon entering Kyle’s 1025 was, “not kid friendly”. We were surrounded by breakable glassware on every side, and I was sure before the night was over I would be paying for some of it. As the four of us were led to our table I tried to sneak a peak at a menu to get an idea of the prices, but I couldn’t.

After being seated, we waited about five minutes before someone brought us water and took our drink order, and ten minutes after that before our waitress came by to bring us our drinks and take our order. This was all despite the fact that, as far as we could tell, there was only one other group of people (three ladies in their 80s) eating. Fifteen minutes before ordering? Strike two. Oh, and when we asked if there was a kid’s menu, we were told no. I was really starting to regret my decision at this point, and if I didn’t think that we were close to getting fed, I would have left.

Compared to the rest of our experience, the food came quickly. Mason ordered the Macaroni and Cheese special with no sides. Morgan had the Chicken Finger Dinner, with cinnamon carrots and mashed potatoes. I ordered salmon, with rice, mushrooms, and asparagus. Susan ordered the chicken fried steak, with mashed potatoes and green beans.

Our food arrived and, after taking one bite of the asparagus, I declared it to be the most delicious asparagus I’ve ever eaten. True, most asparagus I have comes from Chinese buffets, but this was awesome. I sat there, bite after bite, munching down the asparagus. Then, I moved on to the rice. The honey mustard glaze from the salmon had dripped down into the rice, which had something like cream of mushroom mixed in, except the mushrooms had been handpicked from the poop of angels. It was SO. GOOD.

No one spoke. No one even looked up. We just ate. Mason ate everything. Morgan ate everything. Susan ate everything. The waitress brought by a basket of rolls and pumpkin muffins, with apple butter and homemade butter. We ate those quickly as well.

I moved on to the salmon — it was incredible! The closer I got to being finished the slower I ate, trying to savor each bite! The kids showed no such control as they wolfed down their meals. At the end of dinner, I asked Mason to rate his meal on a scale of 1 to 10. At first he said 9, but he later revised it to 9.75. And on that same scale, Morgan said her carrots were a million. My dinner, I have to say, was a 10. I wouldn’t rate the experience a 10 — things moved too slowly and the place “smelled like her grandma’s house” according to Susan — but that food — OH, that FOOD — that food was a 10. Or perhaps a million.

As for the chicken fried steak, Susan gave it a six. She said it wasn’t as good as Chuck House’s. Oh well, TOO BAD FOR HER!

The best macaroni ever!

The best chicken strips ever!

The best salmon ever!

And … eh. Mediocre chicken fried steak.

We might go back, probably without the kids. Dinner was $66 before the tip, and we all drank water. Might be a fun location to take out-of-towners to.