This is long, but funny. This chat took place last night while playing Texas Hold ‘Em on Facebook with a bunch of strangers (and Jeff). The longer you read, the funnier it gets.

Ron Gianada: bengie where in the phillipines are you?
Bengie Balesteros: yup
Bengie Balesteros: y??
Ron Gianada: haha where?
Ron Gianada: cebu?
Bengie Balesteros: no
Bengie Balesteros: ilocos
Ron Gianada: if I move there will ya marry me?
Ron Gianada: =o)
Bengie Balesteros: yes why not…
Ron Gianada: cool ..of course you’ll have to be my 2nd wife
Ron Gianada: =o)
Bengie Balesteros: its ok
Ron Gianada: do you want kids?
Bengie Balesteros: from where are you???
Bengie Balesteros: yes
Ron Gianada: new york new york
Bengie Balesteros: oh rily??
Ron Gianada: how many kids?
Ron Gianada: yes rily
Bengie Balesteros: 2..
Ron Gianada: boy and girl?
Bengie Balesteros: yes
Ron Gianada: what will we name them?
Bengie Balesteros: ashley & dave
Ron Gianada: very nice names
Bengie Balesteros: yes
Ron Gianada: could we make girls name emily?
Bengie Balesteros: yes why not…
Bater Ma’mooon: how abt u go sit next to her??
Ron Gianada: so do we all live in the same house?
Bengie Balesteros: yes if you like..
Ron Gianada: awesome
Bengie Balesteros: oh
Rob O’Hara: I will move next door and take care of things while daddy’s out of town.
Bater Ma’mooon: LOL
Bater Ma’mooon: good one rob
Ron Gianada: uh sorry Rob
Ron Gianada: you don’t have the cash
Rob O’Hara: You won’t either after raising two kids, trust me.
Bater Ma’mooon: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Ron Gianada: already have 4
Bater Ma’mooon: got a come back for that?
Ron Gianada: and trust me i have plenty
Rob O’Hara: See so you will need to work long hours to support those 4 plus these two new ones.
Rob O’Hara: And someone will have to keep poor Bengie warm during the day.
Ron Gianada: i have people work for me
Ron Gianada: and she be poor
Ron Gianada: she won’t be poor that is
Rob O’Hara: Well I will work for you then. I’ll be your pool boy and take care of the hosing during the day.
Ron Gianada: dude you are weird
Ron Gianada: what part of no don’t you get
Rob O’Hara: You say no but Bengie says yes.
Ron Gianada: uh no she doesn’t
Rob O’Hara: Well of course she wouldn’t tell YOU that!
(Rob buys Bengie a shot of tequila.)
Ron Gianada: Bengie how old are you?
Bengie Balesteros: 25
Ron Gianada: how tall are you?
Patil Vartaniann: Rob ur hottt
Bengie Balesteros: 5’8
Ron Gianada: wow your tall for a phllipino
Ron Gianada: do you model?
Rob O’Hara: Bengie do you like pool boys?
Ron Gianada: Rob stop being a creep
Ron Gianada: what’s a matter they don’t have women in Ok?
Rob O’Hara: Ron do you like pool boys?
Ron Gianada: well I employ 3 of them
Rob O’Hara: I know what you mean by “employ” you kinky devil.
Ron Gianada: as long as they work hard and keep the hands of my women
Rob O’Hara: Keep the hands of your women? Gross!
Ron Gianada: Ok rob I’m done talking to you
Patil Vartaniann: rob ur hott
(Rob buys Patil a chocolate milk.)
Rob O’Hara: You like women without hands?
Ron Gianada: off that is
Rob O’Hara: With their hands off?
Ron Gianada: now I’m done with you
Rob O’Hara: Man if Bengie doesn’t have any hands you can have her.
Ron Gianada: So Bengie what do you do in ilocos
Rob O’Hara: She doesn’t work, what with no hands and all …
Jun Marquez: same hand bengie :)
Rob O’Hara: Patil do you have hands?
Patil Vartaniann: offcaurce i have hands duhh
Rob O’Hara: Sweet!
Rob O’Hara: Ron employs 22 people to take care of poor handles Bengie. So sad.
Ron Gianada: Patil
Ron Gianada: come sit next to me
Patil Vartaniann: y?
Jeff Martin: that’s not creepy or anything
Rob O’Hara: WATCH OUT HE’LL TAKE YOUR HANDS
Patil Vartaniann: huhh?
Jeff Martin: won’t affect my playing any
Ron Gianada: like I’m taking all of yours rob
Ron Gianada: Thanx sweety
Patil Vartaniann: w:D
(Ron gives Bengie a rose.)
(Ron gives Patil a rose.)
Ron Gianada: how ya like me now robby
Rob O’Hara: I love you, actually.
Patil Vartaniann: BENGIE TALK
(Bengie Leaves)
Ron Gianada: how old are you Patil?
Rob O’Hara: Well one of them loves you so much they left …
Patil Vartaniann: 15
Rob O’Hara: And the other is jailbait. Smoooooth …
Ron Gianada: hey rob you’re the one buying her choc milk
Ron Gianada: sicko
Rob O’Hara: What? I am only 14.
Patil Vartaniann: shut up ur 40teeez
Rob O’Hara: Yeah but that’s not what I tell minors!
Patil Vartaniann: werw do u live ron?
Ron Gianada: well then you and Patil should get along great
Ron Gianada: patil i;m sorry I don’t talk to under age girls online
Rob O’Hara: Yes he only employs them.
Patil Vartaniann: wat the hell i must be in 3oezzz
Patil Vartaniann: today is sooooooooo hotTtTt
Ron Gianada: how old are you?
Patil Vartaniann: OKAY, OKAY I LIVE IN DUBAI
Rob O’Hara: Patil, be sure to drink your milk. Makes strong bones!
(Pause.)
Ron Gianada: how do you block your ID?
Privacy Blocked: change your search setting to anything but everyone
Ron Gianada: where?
Privacy Blocked: settings, then privacy settings on the main facebook blue bar on the top of your screen
(Ron Gianada is no longer available for chat.)

For the record, I should have been paying more attention to the poker and less to Bengie, Ron and Patil. I lost all my virtual money.