I spent most of this week working on the external user provisioning (EUP) project at work. Demographically, the EUP team is about as eclectic as it gets. When people sing about Jesus loving the “red and yellow, black and white” children of the world, he’s talking about our team. Well, we don’t really have a red guy, except when the yellow guys drink too much, but that’s another story.

This story is about Soju.

Soju is a Korean rice-based alcohol similar to Sake … except that most Sake is 10%-15% alcohol and Soju is closer to 50%, like vodka. Soju is also kind of sweet which means when you mix it with juice, you can barely taste it. It also does weird things to do like make you forget stuff and think that tornadoes are pretty funny.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

Soju has become somewhat legendary within the confines of the EUP team. Earl, one of the team members, was stationed in Korea for a year and has shared a few Soju-related stories. Thuan, another team member, has also added to the Soju legend with his own stories. There has been so much talk about Soju that I decided it was time to pick up a bottle for the team.

That proved to be harder than I suspected. I stopped at one liquor store and asked for Soju. He replied, “whaddaya mean, SOUL JUICE?” Never mind. I stopped by a second liquor store, called a third and was referred to a fourth. Several stores offered to try and order this evasive elixir, but none of them had any on hand. I was started to feel like I was part of an elaborate practical joke when one of the liquor stores referred me to Ice’s. “It’s owned by a Korean,” I was informed. “That’s your best chance.” I zipped over to Ice’s off of 39th and Sara Road and knew I was in the right place when, after asking for Soju, was asked in return, “Korean, or Japanese?” “Korean,” I said, and $11.99 later I walked out with a bottle of Jinro Soju.

Wednesday evening, between dinner at Crabtown and going to see Emily play soccer, we broke out the bottle of Soju. Jeff Chang and I had stopped at a convenient store on the way to the indoor soccer field and picked up a few bottles of cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and Sunny D, and I had snagged a pile of red plastic cups from our kitchen, left over from some previous function. Jeff and I grabbed a couple of beers and walked inside. We got a couple of strange glances walking in with our red plastic cups, but nobody stopped us.

Once inside, Earl and Thuan came back out for the first round of Soju. I have to admit, it was smooth. We took our cups back inside and Emily’s team was already losing so we decided she wouldn’t mind if we went back outside to drink some more. Around this time it started raining so the four of us piled in my truck and sat in the cab drinking, laughing and cutting up. For some reason I felt like I was a teenage again, doing something really naughty.

Soon the Soju was gone and we decided to stuff beer bottles down our pockets and go back inside to watch the second half of the game. Somewhere between the truck and the door I realized that, yes, I was actually walking and not magically floating. Wow, did I still have legs? I can’t feel anything and … oh, wow. I’m pretty trashed on Soju.

About the time we get back inside the tornado sirens go off. The soccer field is right off I-40 and MacArthur, so I call Susan and she informs us that there is “circulation” (a tornado precursor) at I-40 and MacArthur. We are standing inside essentially a giant, metal portable building. About the only place worse to be would be in our cars … so we decided “screw it” and went back out to my car to drink some more beer. If a tornado’s gonna take me out, I want to be numb when it gets there.

Fortunately for us, the tornado spun on down the road. After Emily’s game we sat around in the bleachers for another hour or so, shaking off the cobwebs. It was finally time to head home so I did, the effects of the Soju completely gone.

Or so I thought.

I have heard that there’s not much worse than a Sake hangover, but, oh, friends, there is something. It’s been a while since I had an honest-to-goodness hangover (and I can’t ever remember having one on a work day!) but let me tell you … Thursday morning I felt like Soju the Gorilla was punching me in the back of the head with his giant, hairy fists. Ugh, it was awful. Combine that with the fact that I think Earl gave me the flu and, yeah, I had a pretty rough day.

Soju is pretty smooth going down. Mixed with juice you might never realize you’re drinking it … but you’ll definitely feel it in the morning. Oof!

I’m not sure if Soju is going to become an EUP tradition or not. If so, I’m going to have to build up some tolerance between now and then. Hot sake, here I come!