“You’re supposed to have a sleep study performed every five years,” the lab technician told me last night after I mentioned it had been “at least a decade” since my last sleep study.

I had my first sleep study back in 2002, and a follow-up study in 2006. As far as I was concerned, the study had been performed and we were done. I got my CPAP machine, and every three months a box full of supplies arrived on my front porch. All things considered, it was a perfect system. To maintain this system I was required to visit a sleep doctor twice a year who, in exchange for a $30 co-pay, told me to lose weight. Eventually I quit going because I can tell myself I need to lose weight for free.

This arrangement continued for more than a decade when suddenly, the supplies stopped arriving. I contacted the supply company and they said I needed conformation from a sleep doctor to continue receiving supplies. I informed them my previous sleep doctor had approved it. They informed me my previous sleep doctor was dead.

To make matters worse I negan to notice a new message on the screen of my CPAP, something to the effect of “this device has exceeded its life expectancy.” According to the manufacturer (ResMed), their CPAP units are designed to last “about five years.”

I’ve had this one for seventeen.

With few options left, I made an appointment with a new sleep doctor, paid him $30 to tell me I am overweight, and got a sleep study performed. My CPAP machine holds an SD card, and bringing that card to appointments used to be a requirement. As a testament as to how long it’s been, neither the sleep doctor nor the sleep lab technicians still own an SD card reader, nor do they have the software to read and interpret the data.

My first sleep study back in 2002 was a relatively horrible experience. The first time someone straps a mask blowing oxygen into your face does not make for a restful evening. My second study in 2006 was much more pleasant. I’d been using my machine for four years at that point, and spending the evening in a dark, quiet room (I had a one-year-old and a four-year-old at the time) was surprisingly refreshing.

Last night’s sleep study was somewhere in between. On my previous study, I arrived around 8:30pm and was in bed a little after 9pm. This time, I arrived early (around 8:15pm), had checked in and was in a room by 8:45pm, and then didn’t get seen by the lab technician until 10:45pm. On the day of your study patients are asked to avoid consuming caffeine and taking a nap, which meant I was struggling to remain awake after 10pm. Once the technician attached the dozens of sensors to my face, head, torso and legs, I climbed into bed… and stared at the wall for somewhere between one and two hours. A sleep lab is the last place in the world you want to have insomnia, but that’s what happened.

I fell asleep sometime between noon and 1AM, and was woken up just before 6AM. Susan had dropped me off last night and was there waiting for me this morning. I had remembered that each room had a private bathroom complete with a shower (they’re essentially a small hotel room), but had forgot that they do not include soap, shampoo, or even a towel. I quickly washed my face and wet my hair down to remove (most of) the gel/gunky adhesive used to hold the monitors in my hair, and went to have breakfast with Susan.

We arrived home shortly after 8AM, and within five minutes I had gone back to sleep for another three hours. Back when I did my last sleep study I was working as a contractor without much leave, and drove directly from the hospital to work to begin my shift. Seventeen years later, things have changed. I have hundreds of hours of leave saved up, and so I ended up taking the day off. I have to go back and drop off some paperwork this afternoon, so I just made a day out of it.

The technician at the lab was very kind and professional, and if I had fallen asleep sooner it would have been a pretty perfect night. Now I have to wait for the results to make it back to the sleep doctor so he can approve a new machine and supplies for me. Hopefully, all of this happens before my machine finally dies.