On Five Day Friday, I put my phone on shuffle and write a few words about the first five (of 5,000) songs that come out. I’ll include YouTube links when possible, but just remember that nothing lasts forever.

J. Geils Band – Land of a Thousand Dances (LINK)
Showtime (1982)

According to Wikipedia, the J. Geils Band originally released their cover of this rock and roll classic on their live 1982 album, Showtime, although the version of my phone came from their 1993 greatest hits album, Flashback. Also according to Wikipedia, J. Geils Band has released 11 studio albums and 9 Greatest Hits compilations. I’m guessing the average person my age can name two J. Geils Band songs. Nine greatest hits albums?

At least a dozen bands have released versions of this song, including Ted Nugent, Ike & Tina Turner, the original version by Chris Chris Kenner back in 1982, and of course Wilson Pickett. Despite the song’s title, I only counted sixteen dances. I guess “Land of Sixteen Dances” just didn’t have the same ring.

With thick reverb and layers of crowd noise, there’s no doubt this is a live recording. This version features great bass lines from Danny Klein, and a crazy sax solo by Richard Salwitz, who is credited as “Magic Dick.” That’s a great name for a rock and roll star, but one few others can pull off. Nobody wants their taxes prepared by Magic Dick.

Motherload – Run For Your Life (LINK)
Buck Toothed Dream (1993)

Well I am running from the DEA,
I still am running from the CIA,
And then I been cut down by the FBI,
Well I am thinking that I’m gonna die.

Motherload was a punk rock band from Spokane, Washington that released a few albums in the late 80s/early 90s before breaking up in the mid-90s. This is the first track from the band’s first full length album, Buck Toothed Dream, released in 1993. I don’t think I saw Motherload perform live while I was living there, but apparently they were something else. The link above is to a live version of this song that doesn’t really reflect the album version, but it’s all I could find. The album version is way more fun and singable than it should be, especially with its rapid fire verses and growly vocals. The whole album’s a hoot (and tough to find), but this song is a strong two-minute opener.

Van Halen – Unchained (LINK)
Fair Warning (1981)

I enjoy Van Halen’s hits but don’t know a lot of their deeper cuts, and a quick scan of Fair Warning reveals this as the sole song from the album I recognize. This song contains all the “classic” Van Halen ingredients: an inimitable lick from Eddie, rock and roll drums from Alex, vocals with a wink from Dave, backed with a driving bass line and oh-so-sweet harmonies from Michael. “Unchained” is definitely the high point of the album.

The Bloodhound Gang – Kids Incorporated (LINK)
Use Your Fingers (1995)

“Kids Incorporated” was a children’s television show about a band made up of kids and teenagers, best known for launching the career of Stacie “Fergie” Ferguson. The Bloodhound Gang is a band primarily known for its juvenile humor and offensive songs. To say this is an odd pairing is an understatement. The Gang bookend the song with an impersonation of (Sex Pistols’ bassist) Sid Vicious swearing and asking for “me smack” before breaking into a punk version of the Kids Incorporated theme that’s… surprisingly good? I’ve always been a fan of genre-bending covers, and this one certainly qualifies. This album contains so many unlicensed samples (from Duran Duran to Star Wars) that, released today, it would get sued into oblivion within minutes. Somehow, the band’s label (Cheese Factory Records) snuck one through. I have no idea if the original writers of the Kids Incorporated theme got any royalties from this version, but if they did accept a check from The Bloodhound Gang, I hope they wore latex gloves.

Cake – War Pigs (LINK)
B-Sides and Rarities (2007)

Cake had its fifteen minutes of fame on MTV with “The Distance,” but that song doesn’t capture the band’s essence. If you want something familiar yet interesting to dip your toe into, check out this album. It contains several unusual covers including “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town,” “Stranger in the Night,” “Mahna Mahna” (yes, the song from Sesame Street), and this one. If you didn’t think “War Pigs” could be funked up, you’ve never heard it with a funky ass bass and horn section.