As you might recall from my recent post about the Three Stooges, I like to fall asleep while watching old television shows. After watching all 190 Stooge shorts, I was searching for something else to watch before bed and discovered that Amazon Prime recently added American Gladiators to their streaming library. I just spent the past month watching the entire first season of the show.

In case you missed it the first time around, American Gladiators was a game show that pit four contenders (two men, two women) against a team of gladiators in a series of events. The show was originally filmed at Universal Studios in Hollywood, and aired from 1989 to 1997. Throughout the show’s run, many events were added, removed, and modified.

In the first season, each episode began by introducing the three male and three female gladiators. Each gladiator had a one-word name and a single trait: there was Malibu the surfer; Gemini and his split-personality; the cocky and aggressive Nitro; Lace, the “feminine and sexy lady”; the strong and silent Zap; and Sunny, the all-American woman. After the introductions, each contender (always referred to as contenders, never contestants) was also introduced, followed by more talking. It takes four minutes to get to the first event, but it seems longer.

Many events came and went throughout the run of the show. In the first half of the first season there were six events: Joust, Assault, Human Cannonball, Power Ball, Breakthrough and Conquer, and the Eliminator. In Joust, contenders and gladiators armed with pugil sticks tried knocking one another off a 10′ tall bridge. In Assault, contenders navigated an obstacle course and fired weapons at a large target while one of the gladiators fired tennis balls (at speeds of over 100 mph) from a pneumatic cannon back at them. In Power Ball, two contenders ran around placing balls in plastic cylinders while three gladiators chased them, tackled them and generally beat them up. In the Human Cannonball, contenders swung on a rope Tarzan-style and collided with the gladiators in an attempt to knock them off a tall pedestal. Breakthrough and Conquer was one part football, and one part sumo wrestling. Finally in the Eliminator, the two contenders went head-to-head through a large obstacle course. In the second half of the first season, a seventh event was added. In The Wall, contenders had to navigate an indoor climbing wall as gladiators chased them and attempted to pull them down.

Not having seen this show in twenty years, I was surprised by how slow the pacing was during the first season. The first five minutes of gladiator and contender introductions is just the beginning. The rules of each event are explained in detail, with one of the show’s two hosts demonstrating how it works. A lot of these clips are recycled for each episode, making them even more painful to sit through. At least one gladiator is interviewed before every event, and prerecorded interview clips with the contenders are also sprinkled throughout the show. In addition to that, contenders are frequently interviewed before and after events. Literally, seconds after contenders are smashed in the head and trying to catch their breath, one of the hosts will walk over, shove a microphone in their face, and ask them what happened. So, so much of the show consists of boring (and awkward) interviews.

I had also forgot just how dangerous the show was. Both Power Ball and Breakthrough and Conquer involve gladiators wrestling, tackling, and and throwing contenders to the ground. In Joust, people are hit in the head repeatedly with padded sticks until one of them loses their balance and falls ten feet to the mats below. In one part of the Eliminator, contenders must tip-toe across a balance beam while gladiators throw heavy medicine balls at their heads. By the end of the first season, several contenders (and a few gladiators) were sidelined by injuries. The insurance and waivers on this show must have been a nightmare. I am shocked more people weren’t seriously injured during the making of this show.

The first season was divided into two 13-episode tournaments, and by the second half of the first season, changes were already being made. The number of gladiators was upped from six to eight. Malibu and Sunny were out; Titan, Laser, Blaze, and Gold were in. In the first half of the season, Joust was played on a bridge with trap doors; in the second half (and going forward), fights took place on narrow pedestals. As the season goes on, it becomes evident that the show’s scoring system was uneven and unnecessarily complicated. By season two the scoring had been revamped, and the show’s lumbering pace was accelerated by cutting some of the demonstrations and lengthy interviews.

Sometimes when I happen upon an old show I’ll work my way through the entire run before moving on to the next thing, and sometimes I’ll get bored with one and abandon it before making it all the way through. With seven seasons and almost 200 episodes, American Gladiators falls in the second category. I may spend the next week or two plucking random episodes from later seasons just to see the evolution of the show, but after watching multiple episodes back-to-back, they get kind of boring. That being said, what a crazy time in television that was! The influence of American Gladiators can be seen in competition shows like Wipeout! and American Ninja Warrior. It’s been fun watching American Gladiators and showing it to the kids, and I’ve already been looking on eBay at some vintage action figures and playsets that were made for the show.