It’s been twenty-six years since Susan and I first moved in together. As a couple (and later family), we’ve moved a total of six times. When I first moved to Weatherford to live with Susan, it had only been three months since I had quit working at Pizza Hut. As a result, most of my things arrived in boxes that originally held cheese, pepperoni, and cans of pizza sauce. When we moved back from Weatherford to Oklahoma City, most of our moving boxes came from Long John Silver’s. A few months later when we moved to El Reno, we used boxes from Best Buy.

It wasn’t until the two of us moved from Spokane, Washington back to Yukon, Oklahoma, in the spring of 1998 that I found myself without a source of free moving boxes for the first time. That February, I spent every day after work driving around Spokane, peeking behind businesses for discarded boxes of the right size (not too big, not too small) that hadn’t been left out in the snow.

After dozens of laps around Spokane, we ended up with a few boxes from liquor stores, a few boxes from Future Shop, and a whole bunch of boxes from the local pet store. The pet store boxes were the perfect size, clean, and dry. It wasn’t until we were 1,800 miles away back in Oklahoma that we realized a lot of those boxes smelled like fish food — specifically, the boxes our clothes were in. I went to work smelling like the inside of an aquarium for a month.

Next month, we’ll be moving for the seventh time. (I almost said “for the last time,” but you never know.) Once again, I don’t have a good source for free boxes. It’s been twenty-five years since I’ve worked in fast food. The boxes we get at work are typically too big to be used for moving boxes. Big boxes get heavy in a hurry.

Last Saturday morning, after being reminded by my wife that U-Haul (and many other local places) sell moving boxes for $1-$2 each, I got into my car and visited all the liquor stores within a ten mile radius of my house. Off the top of my head I came up with four locations, and by the time I had left the fourth, I hadn’t found a single box. I don’t just mean I hadn’t found any usable boxes — I mean I hadn’t seen a single box!

I expanded my search radius Sunday, visiting the alleys behind video game stores, retail stores, strip malls, and every other place I could think of (except pet stores). After two hours of driving and searching, I had found just as many boxes as I had found the previous day — zero! Either my timing was bad or businesses simply don’t place their spare boxes out back anymore. I did notice that most businesses, along with big blue trash dumpsters, now also have big green recycle dumpsters out back. I suspect the precious boxes I’ve been seeking are hidden inside.

After chasing a fre Craigslist offers for cheap (and even free) moving boxes with no luck, I suspect later this week as much as I hate to, I’ll be buying some moving boxes. The only other plan I’ve come up with is getting a part-time job at Pizza Hut, just for the boxes.