Here are three somewhat odd restaurant experiences we’ve had in the last month. None of the stories by themselves were particularly blog-worthy, but put ’em all together and you get … well, today’s entry.

#1: A couple of days ago the family and I went to Pizza Inn for dinner. Our waitress (the only one in the place) had just recently moved to Oklahoma from Houston, and she told us all about how her parents’ home was ruined and how most of her stuff was still at her parents’ house in Houston. One thing I learned during the conversation was that hurricanes “shake the earth” and that drives snakes out of the ground and up into the walls of your house. I did not know this. During the conversation I was thinking to myself, what could be worse than having water ruin your home? But I guess opening up your walls and having snakes jump out at you would be worse. The waitress was nice enough, but shortly disappeared after our meal began. We finally saw her as we were leaving and she apologized, explaining that she had been on the phone with her parents.

#2: Johnny, Susan and I went to Aloha Gardens (Chinese) for lunch the other day. On our way into the restaurant, a guy on the way out stopped us. “You aren’t going to Aloha Gardens, are you?” he asked. “Yes, why?” I said. (The only reason I engaged him was I thought he was going to say something like, “well, they’re closed.”) Instead he said, “Boy, that’s the worst Chinese restaurant in town, I would never go there.” Ahola is one of our favorite restaurants, so we asked if something had happened. “No, I was supposed to meet my parents here for dinner but they didn’t show up. This place is terrible. I spent four years in Okinawa, so I know good Chinese food.” Based on his agitated demeanor I decided now wasn’t a good time to inform him that Okinawa is in Japan, not China. The man continued to rant but eventually we just walked away and went into the restaurant, where we had a great lunch. We talked about the incident at length and the biggest question was, if the guy hated Aloha Gardens so much, why would he meet his parents there for lunch when there are (quoting him) “so many other better places right around here.”

#3: The last time Susan was out of town, I took the kids to CiCi’s Pizza. When we got there we saw at least 20 girls (ages 8 to 14) standing around, looking out of place. The kids and I got our food and sat down. After taking my first bite of pizza, a girl walked over and asked me, “Are you done with your plate?” I looked down — there were still three pieces of pizza on it. “No,” I said. “Okay,” she said, and went back to the huddle. Eventually I figured out that the girls were all members of a local gymnastics school, and were (I guess) “sort of” waiting tables to help raise money. It was never made clear exactly what they were doing — working for tips, I guess. The CiCi’s Pizza by my house has twenty or so tables for seating, and there were at least 20 kids walking around. That means on the average of one per minute, someone was coming by and talking to you. It was the most annoying thing ever, and I would have gladly donated some cash for a sign that said, “Please Go Away.” Mason ate up the attention and had a swarm of girls refilling his drink between sips, shaking cheese on to his pizza and I think at one point wiping his mouth for him. Some of the girls were walking around giggling. “Oh my gawd, look how much food that guy ate,” I heard one say to another (not talking about me). Others were walking around snickering, laughing, rolling their eyes … being teenage girls, I suppose. It was, by far, the most annoying fundraising attempt ever.